Gardens

I love plants and flowers and my dream was to someday have an awesome garden of my own in my new house. wahwahwaaaaaaaah. Most of my plants have either died or are knocking at deaths door. My rose bushes are doing well and one azalea is hanging on for dear life. The other beautiful white azalea that my favorite mother in law gave me is mostly dead with one or two leaves with just a hint of green. I am praying for it to resurrect.

My dad's dad used to have beautiful flowers. My dad has beautiful flowers. My Mother in law has beautiful flowers. My flowers are not beautiful right now. I have hope.

On another note... I think my cell phone might be in Mike's car and he has been gone a long time at the store. I am worried but I can't call him cause I don't have my phone.

The end

Learning about me

I have a phobia. A true phobia is an intense irrational fear. It doesn't make sense. I have a dog ownership phobia. I literally cannot handle it. I love dogs. I love all animals. I want to own a dog. No wait...I want to be able to own a dog. I cannot own a dog. I get an adorable pup. I am fine for about an hour. I look at the dog and my heart starts pounding. My mouth goes dry. My chest closes up. I start to feel like I am going to faint. I have to have a way out. I have to have a way out. I must take the dog back. I am then consumed with getting the dog back to the owner. If I can't get a hold of that person I have a panic attack. I can't keep the dog. It makes me feel like a failure. I feel like a psycho.

O.C. 2008

Mike and I just got back from our annual family fun at Ocean City. It was fun as usual but it was better this year because we all stayed longer. We swam in the ocean, chilled in the sun, played putt putt golf(I came in 2nd and got a hole in one) played farkel and had lots of laughs. The only downside was the severe sunburn I and only I got. I did put on 45 sunblock but for some reason it didn't work. Could have been my meds. I attached a photo of me in the car with my red face. the rest of me is even worse.

How things are going

Here is a little update on my life. I started working days and nights last week and will continue doing it for the next 4 weeks. Tues-Thurs I work 8-2 and then 6-10. It is rough. Mondays I work til 2 and I don't work Fridays...which rocks.When I am not stressed about gas prices I go home in between but I work 45 minutes away and there is a small toll one way. Sometimes the 2 hours at home is worth it sometimes it isn't. I knew that it would have to be a temporary thing when I took the night class but I didn't know I would feel so bad so quickly. because of my fibromyalgia it is hard for me to recuperate and I need a lot of down time in order to feel OK. I haven't been getting that down time and my body has been yelling at me. It is kind of sad because I like my night class so far. I will explain later about the general population of my school. God is totally working on my patience and my attitude towards certain types of people. Like I said, I will explain later. Anyway, the money is nice and I will miss it when I go back to just working days.

Monetarily things are going well and I am looking forward to getting things for the house and making it feel more like home. It is cute by nature but I think some new furniture and some cool curtains and stuff will make it amazing.

I was off the wagon with losing weight but I am planning on trying a little harder since I am in the wedding of someone I love in October. That someone is Laura. Even though I will be the fattest one I don't seem to care that much because Mike loves me for who I am. That is amazing to me.

That is all I have to say for now.