Working through it.

So, I did what I swore I would never do. I even had people that I told to tell me not to do it if I ever wanted to again. Sigh, I got another puppy. I think I did it because I was really sure that I could overcome my fears and panic attacks and keep it. I thought that if I could just find the right puppy for us that it would be great. I thought if I didn't set myself up for failure by researching the puppy that was right for us and making sure that I wasn't working for awhile and waiting until Mike was not going on a business trip that everything would be great.

So, I did all that. On Saturday Mike and I drove 2.5 hours to a place where they breed and also rescue. We specifically went to look at a little black pomapoo with white on his chest. He was 13 weeks so we were skipping the super tiny puppy stage which tends to freak me out. When we got there we walked into this small building where they were washing some small puppies. They obviously were cooing and snuggling them so that was a good thing. The girls informed us that they had to get the owner to show us the puppies. I looked into some of the crates and saw what I knew was the puppy we came to see. All alone in a crate. The lady named Bonnie came in and gave me a handshake(it was extremely weak, one of my pet peeves) anyway, she let the pup out and he raced around the room. Mike was slightly concerned that he was so energetic since he was mixed with pomeranian and he has known some really hyper ones. I knew that the pup was just excited to be out of the crate.Mike also remarked that some super tiny 5 weeks old puppies were insanely cute(and 600.00) I told him that I liked this one that was now licking my face. He was also a fraction of the price.

The lady groomed him for us and gave us a puppy pack. We bought a harness and a leash and were on our way home.

That night we went to Sarah and Jacob's for dinner. We had fun and then when we got home I started freaking out and crying. Mike assured me that everything was going to be fine and that he was our puppy and that we WERE. NOT. GIVING.HIM.AWAY. That night we put him in hiis crate and he slept through the night. I kept waking up with panic attacks and expecting to hear him crying. He didn't make a peep.

The next day went smoothly. I went to bed really early and slept really well. The next day went smoothly. Yesterday went smoothly. The puppy is very good about going poop and pee outside. He peed once and pooped once inside the first or second day but that was mainly due to me not taking him out in time.

Last night I cried and freaked out again. Mike calmed me down.

This is the thing. God clearly wants me to keep the puppy because he is making this puppy virtually problem free. He sleeps through the night. He goes potty outside.When I need a break I can put him in his crate and spend time alone. He and the cats are ok. He is cute and lovable. I am just working through my issues and it actually feels really good.

So, we are keeping the puppy. His name is Tucker. Yes, the joke has been made about what we call him when he humps my arm...sorry but just being honest.

Anyway, I know that most people don't have these freak outs when it comes to a cute and lovable pup. I am weird but like I said, it is a phobia that I am confronting and it feels awesome to be working through it. As I write this a cute little addition to our family is sleeping next to me. He is very cute. A little stinky but very very cute.