Jul 16, 2012

My mind is a messy place these days. It flits from one thought to the next barely landing on one before moving on to the next. When I stay too long on one thought I feel overwhelmed and frightened at the uncertainty of the future. I want to be at peace. It's ridiculous that I ever feel at peace. There is no real assurances in my life. Nothing seems to last forever. Most of the things I place my trust in give me a false sense of security. So why not just choose to have peace all the time? I do know that I can place my trust in God but even the old things that used to bring me comfort confuse and dishearten me. I try to read the Bible and it makes little sense. I don't have the wisdom to understand the contradictions. I don't know what part to believe. Do I choose to believe the whole thing is the living word of God and have it conflict with my conscience about social issues? Do I believe that the original text was truth but man has made error in translation over these many years? What parts are valid for today? What parts were cultural and for a specific time?

I ponder these things and then must put them on the shelf to look at later.