Aug 28, 2007


I guess I will just write about how I am feeling just now...It could change soon so don't hold me to it. I feel 60% shitty right now. Emotionally, physically, mentally and whoops can't forget spiritually. I have been bleeding for about three weeks...bleeding from your private parts can really put a damper on all things good. It is not only annoying because sometimes I "flood" at inopportune moments but I also feel really lightheaded and weak a lot. I asked the doctor, "hey, what can be done?" She said to go back on the pill. I said,"But, I wanted to try to have a baby relatively soon" she said, "then you hare just going to have to deal with the bleeding". Thanks bunches, lady. Thanks effing BUNCHES. Do you know what is like to want something pretty badly and then be told that ," Hey, guess might not be able to have that because your body is f'ed up". I might not be able to conceive because if I bleed all month it means that there is no time to ovulate.That is really sad. I don't feel like writing about it anymore but feel free to send your condolences.

Aug 20, 2007


I recently noticed that my posts haven't been very poetic or thought provoking. I apologize for that. I think my writing was "deeper" before I got married. I will try to do better.

Aug 11, 2007


It was beyond wonderful. I couldn't imagine it ending in a better way though it makes me said that it is indeed, over. Now I look forward to her writing something else.

Aug 1, 2007

What is wrong with me?

So, I have been ill for years. I mean really, I never feel well. I have been to Doctors and they always say the same annoying thing..lose weight. It isn't that simple and I know that the easiest thing for a doctor to say is, "you are overweight and you will feel better if you lose weight". Fact is that I felt sick before I was very overweight and it is the pain and fatigue that keeps me from exercising.I need a doctor who cares enough to look past the weight.

I am exhausted all the time. My body always aches. I get excruciating headaches at least twice a week. I feel sick to my stomach when I am hungry and even more so after I eat. I feel dizzy and lightheaded often. I get weak quickly and need to sit down. I have restless legs at night and often restless arms too. I am always really stiff especially in my legs. I have had the pain and stiffness in my legs since I was a child.

I just made an appointment with an internist. These doctors of internal medicine are apparently more thorough and do tests and blood work a lot. I need help. I am so sick of feeling so bad.