You know, I have this habit of feeling like the world is ending whenever I am having a hard time. It is easy for me to slip into a dark place and to think that life will never be good again. Why do I do this? Oh well, it doesn't matter. I am feeling better now. I think I am feeling better because it is the fall.
The fall is extremely wonderful to me. I always have good memories of walks at Winterthur through the paths lined with trees. Looking all around me there was nothing but vibrant red,orange, and yellow and I would breathe in the smell of well, change. Our house would always smell like the fireplace which was burning constantly as the weather got cooler and it seemed like there was always football on the t.v.
Some night we would have bonfires outside and eat S'mores and talk. We actually did that last weekend and it was fun.
Now falls has new fun memories and things to look forward to. Mike and my anniversary was yesterday but we are celebrating today by going to the Poconos for the night. I am excited. I can't believe we have been married for three years. Mike is a wonderful husband and I feel so blessed to be his wife.
Oct 17, 2008
Oct 6, 2008
Sad
Some of you know that my grandfather died on Saturday morning. It was crazy because he has rallied so many times that we all kind of thought he would rally again.
Mike and I stayed at my parents house this weekend and Darby was home because we both were in Laura's wedding. My uncles are up from Florida and Linds and Col were home too.That is amazing. We were all here. It was God.
My mom called my dad on Saturday but he was in the shower so I answered the phone. My mom told me that I might want to visit Poppop cause he wasn't doing well. She didn't want to tell me how bad he was because of the wedding but I felt an urgency and went down there. When I pulled in my mom yelled down that if I ran I might be able to make it before he died. WHAT???!!! So I ran up the three flights of stairs and saw my grandmother sitting next to Poppop talking to him. I went in and gave him a kiss and told him I loved him. Then we sat down with him. My grandmother was still talking to him. Telling him all the people he would see in heaven. She said that he had fought so hard but it was ok to go. She said she loved every inch of him. Then she kissed him again. His breathing got slower and slower and then it stopped. It was a very surreal moment. Just my mom, my grandmother and me, sitting there crying while my grandfather breathed his last breath.
I called my sisters and broke the news. Mike and my dad came in and then Linds and Col and my uncle.
The saddest part was when they took his body away. My grandmother was just saying,"no no they are taking him, my John, they can't take him, not my John," that was heart wrenching. They had been married for 62 years and were always together. My grandmother was completely dependent on him. I cannot imagine losing Mike. It has only been three years of married and we are so entwined. I cannot imagine 62 years.
Anyway, I feel like I should write more about my grandfather's life and I will. But not now.
I love you Poppop. There is now a huge hole in the family but we know we will see you again someday.
Mike and I stayed at my parents house this weekend and Darby was home because we both were in Laura's wedding. My uncles are up from Florida and Linds and Col were home too.That is amazing. We were all here. It was God.
My mom called my dad on Saturday but he was in the shower so I answered the phone. My mom told me that I might want to visit Poppop cause he wasn't doing well. She didn't want to tell me how bad he was because of the wedding but I felt an urgency and went down there. When I pulled in my mom yelled down that if I ran I might be able to make it before he died. WHAT???!!! So I ran up the three flights of stairs and saw my grandmother sitting next to Poppop talking to him. I went in and gave him a kiss and told him I loved him. Then we sat down with him. My grandmother was still talking to him. Telling him all the people he would see in heaven. She said that he had fought so hard but it was ok to go. She said she loved every inch of him. Then she kissed him again. His breathing got slower and slower and then it stopped. It was a very surreal moment. Just my mom, my grandmother and me, sitting there crying while my grandfather breathed his last breath.
I called my sisters and broke the news. Mike and my dad came in and then Linds and Col and my uncle.
The saddest part was when they took his body away. My grandmother was just saying,"no no they are taking him, my John, they can't take him, not my John," that was heart wrenching. They had been married for 62 years and were always together. My grandmother was completely dependent on him. I cannot imagine losing Mike. It has only been three years of married and we are so entwined. I cannot imagine 62 years.
Anyway, I feel like I should write more about my grandfather's life and I will. But not now.
I love you Poppop. There is now a huge hole in the family but we know we will see you again someday.
Oct 3, 2008
October
I have started a new post several times about how much I love this month. I think it will be a good post. My mind however, is preoccupied with bridesmaid things for Laura's wedding on Saturday. So far, my undergarment that I ordered was allegedly delivered and taken off my front porch. My dress was supposed to be done Wed and it isn't yet. Darby and I are singing a song she wrote and I have yet to hear it. The wedding is tomorrow. The rehearsal is tonight. Zoinks. I am a tad stressed. Still, this stress is way better than the bad kind of, mean woman at work, hate your job, kind of stress.
I will write my October post later.
I will write my October post later.
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