Dec 6, 2013
Hidy Ho to all my 2 readers. Again, I apologize for the long absence of my earth shattering and mind blowing thoughts. I have been quite over whelmed with thoughts but they are the kind of where I could be thinking about getting a cup of tea and then by some bizarre thought trail of the mind I am having a panic attack because I haven't organized baby clothes. Being that at anytime my brain could shut down or I could have said panic attack, I am just going to write without thinking and then hit publish. FUN FUN. So, it's the holidays. I have always been a fan of the holidays but for some reason since my sisters moved away the actual day of Christmas has been pretty stressful for me. As has Thanksgiving. I think at first it was stressful because everyone would come back and we would all stay at my parent's house and I would feel like I needed to stay there and cram all the time I could spend with them into a few days. For a girl with sensory issues who needs to have time a lone and actual has a lot of issues that still get triggered around certain family members, it was intense at times and I almost always spent at least an hour in a room by myself having a meltdown. Usually Darby would come in trying to coax me back down with a present.Presents always make me feel better. Then my sisters had to stop coming back for Christmas because it was expensive. They invite us out but a. yeah, it's expensive and B.we have other family members here to consider and lastly and honestly the most compelling reason is because Mike ALWAYS has a damn conference for work the day after Christmas for a week.Now, thankfully it's going to stop being the damn week after Christmas sometime soon but it sucks for now. Actually, 2 years ago it was in DC and I went with him. That was fun. Last year I couldn't get off work to go and this year I will be about 3 weeks from my due date. I want to go. It's in Baltimore. It's not a good idea. I've been told. But many people. I'm not totally convinced that me being here 9 months pregnant without Mike IS a good idea but...whatever. Anyway, The past few years on the actual days of Thanksgiving/ Christmas have been stressful because while members of my family that make me happy are NOT here, there are members of my family that ARE here. So we spend Christmas with those members. Though I love these family members my relationship with some of them are complicated and can be quite stressful. and since it's mean and wrong to say, Hey this year, don't invite blah blah blah, I have to deal with my feelings. I usually feel ill at ease and therefore have a hard time acting not grumpy. AAAAND SCENE. I'm done for now. will write more later.