Aug. 10, 2011

Well, it was a rough weekend but the clouds are clearing.

Because Mike and I haven't had insurance since he stopped working at his previous job my Dr. thought it would be a good idea for me to try a generic medicine instead of my Lexapro.It was bad news for my emotions. On top of the medicine issue a lot of other emotionally challenging things popped up and I couldn't really deal well. On Monday I had had enough of feeling crazy and decided that I would GLADLY pay more money if it meant I could have the Lexapro. I ordered it from a Canadian pharmacy so it was a lot less expensive. I have been back on Lexapro for 3 days and I feel like I am feeling really good. Why can't I get it through my head that Lexapro works and I need to be on it?

I am reading Half Broke Horses by Jeanette walls and I love it. I loved The glass Castle by her as well.


Today is a lovely day and again it reminds me that lovely fall is just around the corner. Hooray. Life feels good again.

Tears

Today I have tears because it is my grandfather's birthday. I miss him so much and wish that he was still alive.

Today I have tears because Darby and Lyric and Ollie are going back to California. I hate that we live on opposite coasts and that I can't see them when I want or need to.

Today I have tears because it's August and Lindsay, Collin and Senya will be most likely leaving at the end of this month to move to California.

I don't have words for how happy Senya and Lyric and Ollie make me. Nor do I have the words to express my sadness that I can't be with them. I don't have any more chances to see my grandfather or to tell him that I love him so much.

All I have is tears.