Apr 21, 2010


I feel like I am failing at somethings. First, my health. I am sick and I have been in a lot of pain with my fibro. I feel like I am making bad choices and not taking care of myself. I was doing really well with not eating sugar and now it is like I can't stop eating it. I haven't been swimming in awhile and I have been drinking a lot of vodka lately.

I feel like I am failing with Dexter a bit. He is being crazy lately and I keep telling myself that he is only 3 1/2 months and he will not turn out to be a bad unruly dog. Today, looking at the scratches on my hands I'm not so sure.

I'm failing at being a Christian. I feel like I am not even sure what I believe anymore and I don't want to go to hell. I want to believe in the things I used to but they seem so unbelievable and not in a good way.

I'm failing at being a good wife. the house is always messy and I can't work more than 2 weeks out of the month without feeling bad physically and emotionally.

I'm failing at being a friend. Or at least it seems that way. I feel like no one wants to be with me, confide in me or invite me places anymore.

So that's how I am feeling today.