Jun 22, 2009

pray for me

I just want to know why I keep being confronted with the same horrible situation. Wait, backing up a bit. When I was younger it was almost like I had a neon arrow over my head that said,"Perverts stop here". I mean bad things over and over again. For some reason I moved on from that and for the past maybe 15 years I have had another neon arrow inviting a new and almost more traumatic predator...the horrible mean, overbearing, aggressive, irrational and lying downright EVIL female that makes my life a living hell. I shall explain.

If you have been reading my blog for awhile you may recall a certain lead teacher at a job of mine that was horribly unfair and mean spirited towards me. I was so happy, heck, I felt completely blissful when I no longer had to see her. Life went along well for awhile and my job has been great. Well, on Friday I had a negative experience with a student. This was not a student of mine and in fact I had never met her before. To make a long story short she was incredible rude to both me and the other students that were present. I calmly spoke to her after everyone else was gone and she got really disrespectful. I am REALLY being nice here and not going into all the details. Anyway, I spoke to my lead teacher, who is a good guy, and he backed me up and said that I was 100% right and that the student was in the wrong.

Today after school the student, the lead teacher and I had a meeting. The student said that she wishes to file a formal complaint about me and then proceeded to say all these false things about me. I mean, it was horrible. She wouldn't let me get a word in edgewise to defend myself and when I finally tried to explain some things she said I was lying. I finally got up and said that I wasn't listening to anymore. I then proceeded to go into the office and cry my eyes out. The lead teacher was very supportive and told me that he was sorry that if he had known she was going to be like that he never would have told me to stay for the meeting. Again, he said that I did nothing wrong and that I have nothing to worry about. Still, it hurt and I felt so mad that I had to deal with that again.

Please pray for me. Not only was this a bad situation but I need to be healed from whatever it is that is attracting these people into my life.

Jun 11, 2009

Things I want to say

I have been doing really well with my swimming, I must say. Actually, it is hard for me to say that but I have always felt like after I give myself credit for something I usually mess up big time. However, the book I am reading(well, was reading and have taken a few days off) told me to give credit to myself when I make good choices. I have been doing water aerobics at least 4 days a week. It makes me feel better. I am at the stage where I look a little thinner and my clothes fit better but the scale is only down 2lbs. I am sure it will start to go down soon. I just feel so much healthier and for a girl who has been not well for a long time that is big news.

Tomorrow Mike and I are joining my parents and my grandmother(so sad to not be able to say grandparents)in Ocean city, MD for the next couple of days. http://www.ocmdhotels.com/ocsuites/ at the lovely Holiday inn . It has been an annual trip since 1995. Sadly, Cali fam and Linds and Col will not be joining us. It is so crazy how we added to those who joined us down there. In 1995 I graduated from high school so as a present my parents rented a room for Linds, my two friends and me. The next year Jason and darby were married and were down. Eventually we added Collin to the mix then a little girl named Lyric then a little boy named Ollie then a hot guy named Mike. Mike actually joined us before we were married. We shared a room which is so bizarre because the room was attached to my parents and they were usually really strict about us spending the night with our boyfriends.As in, we weren't allowed.I was 28 and Mike was 31 so I guess they thought if anything happened it wouldn't be that huge of a deal. We didn't share a bed. Just to make things clear. Why am I telling you all of this. I am tired.

Anyway, that is all I feel like talking about now. I feel like it was dumb. Sorry.

Jun 8, 2009

Questions for Philadelphians and thosee who pass this way

I feel grumpyish and am glad that I have therapy today. why do I get so mad at people that I don't even know? I get so angry at bad drivers and rude people. Selfish, rude, low class people. do I think I am better? Yeah, I guess I do . Only because I at least TRY to be nice. If someone let's me in, I wave. If I cut someone off I wave an apology. Waving is so easy. It means so much to mean, especially if I have gone out of my way to do something nice.

Here are a few questions I have for the people of Northeast Philadelphia.

Are you unaware of what trash cans are for? Do you have a back condition which hinders you from bending over and picking up your trash so that I don't have to pick up your trash in my yard?

Do you need a hearing aid? Is that why you must blare your music from your car at all hours of the morning and night?

Or is it that your friends are hard of hearing? Is that why you must shout into your cell phone when you are walking down the street "conversatin'"(and do you not know that conversating is not a word)?

Are all you children orphans? Is that why you are able to stand on the street corners to the wee hours of the morning laughing and shouting? Is it because your parents are dead? That is so sad.

Are you really handicapped and are SO handicapped that you are unable to get a sticker that says you are handicapped and it is that you are MENTALLY handicapped because you obviously are not physically handicapped and that is why you park in the handicapped spot?

You must have such a sad life. Please let me know if there is anything I can do to help. Oh, besides work and pay taxes which I am so glad is making it possible for you to get food stamps and daycare paid for and a check once a month so that you can pay for the essentials like getting your foot long nails done. and your new Louis Vuitton bag. Oh, and your Lincoln navigator. Cause after all, we are in hard economic times and it is obviously especially hard on you.

Ugh. Why am I such a bitch?

Jun 5, 2009

June 6, 2009

I have been swimming a lot lately which I am proud of. It has gotten to where I would rather make the effort to swim and feel good than sit at home and feel bad. I have started doing water aerobics too. It isn't as easy as it looks. I am however, apparently, the only one under 50 that takes it and therefor look as if I am in great shape. I'm jumping and kicking and punching and jogging and have energy left to spare at the end. It feels great! I feel much more toned and seem to be slimming down a little bit. The only downside is that my body still aches. Today, I guess because of the cold and rainy weather, my legs hurt really badly. Also, if I sleep with my legs out of the covers they feel stiff the whole next day. Which is the case today as well.

Kim Champion, AKA, the best therapist in the world, recommended that I read,"The Beck Weight Loss Solution". It is all about cognitive therapy and applying it to the negative thoughts that sabotage one who struggles with losing weight. It is great so far. I can really relate to a lot of the negative thoughts that I, ridiculously enough, thought were unique to me. If feels so great to know that a lot of other people experience the same negative thought patterns.

Anyway, I have to go to a class and the jacuzzi is calling my achy legs home.

Sorry for typos. I don't feel like checking my work today.