For someone

I never thought that I would be here, I never thought that we would be here together...apart. We were so close...closer than best friends, closer than sisters...two parts of one person it seemed at times. We were there for each other at our best and at our absolute worse. We pulled each other up and sometimes dragged each other down. But we laughed...You can make me laugh harder than anyone...and make me cry too...Just as I am crying now.

When we were young we would talk about our troubles. Family trouble , boy trouble...body image trouble. We talked about broken hearts, broken dreams, our broken selves. I hated my life but you could always cheer me up. When we became adults we searched for ourselves . We were depressed, we were alone, but we were together. So many times sitting on the couch having nothing to do so we sang. Driving in the car to the store or on long road trips we would crank up the music and sing our guts out. We thought the stupidest things were funny. You could look at me and I would just start laughing...the good kind of laughing when no noise is coming out and your face gets all red,you can't breathe and you are close to peeing your pants, kind of laughing. I miss that. I miss you.

As time went on we wanted our lives to go somewhere. We wanted to make money. We wanted most of all to find love. We saw everyone around us falling in love and getting married. We wondered what was wrong with us. We always knew that God would have to bring our men to us at the same time. Otherwise the one of us without a man wouldn't be able to cope with the loss. We were right. I guess we never imagined that growing in those relationships would cause our relationship to grow apart.

So here we are at this unfamiliar place. I never could imagine going a day without talking to you and now it has been weeks. I haven't seen you in months. Honestly, I feel like you have died, even though you are actually just across town. I just want you to know that I love you so much. I hope this time will pass and we will be close again but until then please know that you will always be my best friend and I will always...always hold you and all of our years so close to my heart.

Love,
Merry