Sorry, guys.

I will apologize in advance because basically, I am going to bitch. If you aren't in the mood for someone to rain on your parade or send the blue bird of happiness to poop on your head then please stop reading. I just have to get this out. I am feeling horribly. Like, hormonally horrible. If you have had raging hormones then you KNOW what I mean and if you KNOW what I mean, then sorry my sister in horribleness. If you have read this blog for years than you know that I used to have horrible issues with my um, menses. Wait, is that just your very first period? I think it is. I didn't have a problem with that. Well, it did seem kind of late because I was in 7th grade and my best friend had hers in 4th grade. Hmm, I guess she was the one with the problematic Menses. Oh and the other problem I had was MORTIFICATION because I came out of the girls bathroom and whispered in Darby's ear, "um, I think I just got my period". Hoping she would, I don't know, discreetly give me some words of wisdom or at least a pad. Instead I got, loudly and in front of a LOT of people, "WELCOME TO WOMANHOOD!!" Um, thanks. Anywhoodle, where was I? That is another problem I am having. My memory/brain function is not normal. I am foggy. Oh, no Buddy, I wasn't calling you. Figgy just starting meowing because I said foggy out loud. Poor little dude. Ok so, figgybrainfunctionperiod. Right my period. I used to have a lot of problem. It was irregular and then would come for like a month straight in really biblical proportions. Like, I needed Moses to part it, if you know what I am saying...cause it was the red sea? Get it? Ok, it's gross. Moving on. Well, since surgery my period has been regular( give or take a few days). It's been almost a year. Then last month I had it pretty lightly for two days and then nothing and now I am 6 days late. It feels tortuous. I'm terrified because I am experiencing all these weird symptoms and think maybe I am dying. Maybe it is cancer or something terminal. Here are the symptoms. Extreme moodiness. Foggy brain. Memory issues. Clumsiness. memory issues. (ok, I threw that in there again as a joke) extreme fatigue and nauseousness. Now before you said, "Um, are you pregnant." I must tell you that I am not pregnant. Not only have I been unable to conceive for 7 years but I took a pregnancy test and it said negs. PLUS, let's just say that this particular month it would literally be a miracle of I got pregnant. So, I feel like I am going to flip out. I will repeat. I AM EXTREMELY MOODY AND VOLATILE RIGHT NOW. The End.