Feb 12, 2009

Not working through

I found Tucker a new home. What is this a sickness? Yeah, it is. I am mentally ill and I know it. I just don't want the responsibility of owning a dog. Even the best dog is too much for me. I have had panic attacks every day. I have sobbed until I can't cry anymore everyday. Mike is allergic. He was willing to work through that. I really hate myself right now. I loathe myself. I just woke up this morning and felt like I didn't want to keep the puppy just for the sake of trying to work through something. I didn't think it was fair to the puppy or to Mike. Mike had to watch me hyperventilate and sob and want to die every night. All over the puppy. I know there are people that actually love having puppies. They get joy from owning a dog. They are happy to see the puppy and get happy feelings when they think about the pup. I am the opposite.

The puppy is going to a place with two other small dogs. Someone is home all day and the people love dogs.

1 comment:

Jessica said...

Merry...I am so sorry you are going through this again. But it does sound like the puppy makes you so anxious that it's a good decision to place it with someone who feels more equipped to care for him. I think you did the right thing, but I am sorry it has been so painful.